What is “Crab Mentality”?

  

The term crab mentality is sometimes referenced as crabs in a bucket.  This is a phrase [or term] that is able to describe a way of thinking that basically translates into, “if I can’t have it, neither can you.”  The metaphor of crab mentality is derived from the reference of a pot of crabs.  Individually, a crab can escape easily, but when placed in a pot with other crabs they will diligently work to keep each other solidly within the pot.  The diligence is more or less an epic “king of the hill” competition that ultimately guarantees their unilateral demise. 

     Within human behavior, the analogy is often claimed to be that members of a certain group will attempt to negatively diminish the importance or image of any member who is able to achieve any level of success.  Whether the success is actual or perceived and exceeds that of fellow members.  This type of behavior is the result of competitive feelings, conspiracy or envy.  Crabs on the other hand are not pulling one another back into the pot due to these feelings, they are simply trying to escape singularly without the accompaniment of their fellow creature.  Human beings on the other hand desire to escape certain environments, but they do not wish for any others to do so and take away from their success or exceed it in any manner when they begin to embody the concept of crab mentality. 

     This is a term that has been broadly associated with non-constructive, short sighted thinking as opposed to the unified constructive, long term thinking.  The impact of this type of thinking was first quantified by a 2015 New Zealand study that was able to demonstrate upwards of 18% of an average exam improvement for students when grades are reported in a way that prevented others from knowing their position via published rankings. 

      The phrase has grown in popularity due to its ability of accusing opponents of crab mentality to become a common defense form against criticism.  This is regardless of whether or not the criticism is valid or not.  Dependent upon the context, the tactic of the crab mentality could very well fall under the logical fallacy that has been come to be known as argumentum as invidiam or the appeal to envy.  The reasoning for crab mentality may very well be envy as well as it being a behavioral trait that is indulged upon despite people having a working knowledge that it is more than disadventurous to them; it can arise from a scarceness of resources that can lead to competition that is perpetual. 

Crab Mentality in Popular Culture

        Crab mentality has found itself referenced and placed on display throughout a variety of outlets within popular culture.  For example, from the American hip-hop group Gang Starr referenced the behavior in a track titled, “Moment of Truth”.  Within this track he states the following, “selfish jealous punks will wanna pull you down, just like some shellfish in a bucket.”  Additionally, a hip hop artist from Canada released a single entitled “Crabbuckit” in 2004.  This song portrays the negative views of the music industry and was able to win the 2005 ‘Best Single of the Year’ at the Juno awards.  Popular artists such as the Aquabats, Jay Z, and Kanye West have also made reference to the term within their music. 

     Musicians are not the only ones that have done so.  The American animated television show “The Boondocks” has referenced crab mentality numerous times in relation to the current state of African American culture within the United States.  The miniseries “The Corner” that was featured on HBO contained a character that was able to observe the mentality while working a seasonal position.  He is able to make the connection to his very own attempts to transcend the ghetto of Baltimore and the meaning of crab mentality. 

Overview

     Crab mentality is a frame of mind that will leave all that encounter it no better than they were at their starting point.  There is no positive outcome for any that partake in the behavior and thought process nor those that are in close proximity to them.  At this time, it is not completely certain as to whether or not those participating in the behavior are fully aware that they are engaging in it.  Should they not be aware, there is truly no way to curb the behavior, since acknowledgment is key to change.  

A Diet of Names

    

It seems to be the latest diet craze…….shedding pounds by having people’s names wedged in your mouth all day every day.  I have noticed that the people that know the least, communicate never and associated rarely with a person have the most information to share and spread about someone.  What is even more shocking is the amount of people that feast on the regurgitated rubbish attached to the names.  They know that this person has no real connection to the one whose name is being digested, regurgitated and spit into the next mouth, but they take it in as if it were a communion cracker blessed on Sunday morning. 

    Now, I am not sure which is worse, the originator that is clearly suffering from “I lie like I breath syndrome” or the person that knows that they are lying and chooses to infect themselves with the syndrome.  But what is crystal clear, is that this new diet is not shedding pounds away, it is merely making for extremely strong jaws.  What else can you expect from a cackling bird chewing the fat of a name just to mother hen it over to the next mouth all day, every day.  This is an activity that you cannot take a break from or you lose your audience. 

     But let me take a moment right here to address those that enjoy having names for breakfast, lunch, dinner and a duo of snacks.  The vast majority of you will claim that you could care less about the person…..or that you don’t lie……or that you don’t do drama and steer clear of it; yet the person attached to the name isn’t around when you begin slinging sh*t like a frustrated monkey.  Nor is that person present or addressing you when you dive head first into a still pool creating an abundance of waves.  Not to mention, if you have NEVER confirmed any of the information nor have you had any meaningful interaction with said person…….where is your information coming from? Not the truth factory boo boo.  Therefore, you are a liar……you are about the drama and you gravitate towards it as if it were the flame to your moth…….you care a great deal about that person, because of jealousy. 

      Deny it all you want, but there is something about the name that you keep logged in your throat better than a porn star stuffs hers, that makes you feel inferior.  Yes, I said it…..heffa YOU FEEL LESS THAN.  This is why you have to carry tales quicker than SuperHead can carry an STD about a person that truly has no idea that you exist.  You are losing sleep, working overtime and missing out on life in order to carry out your campaign of slander while the person attached to the name……well they are continuing to live life and flourish.  So who is actually winning here?

   You have changed your diet to nothing by names that you spit pieces into mouth after mouth after mouth while caged in misery.  Your waistline is still the same.  Your face is resting on the floor.  Your friends aren’t true, they are just hungry for their next regurgitated piece, knowing that it is only a matter of time before your diet includes their names.  What is it to gain? Oh that’s right, the praise and solidarity of people too stupid and devious to recognize or care that you are a pathological liar that is self-hating. When broken down like that, how are you liking this diet of names that you are on?

Interracial Rejection: Trophy vs. Whore

     I recently read a blog written by a person that calls themselves a blogger.  Now I know that we all draw inspiration from our own lives, friends and family…..BUT we must draw a line.  It is HIGHLY inappropriate to pump information out of “friends” in order to gain readers and website views.  Also I am thoroughly DISGUSTED by the overt fact that the writer was rejected and decided to throw an acquaintance under the bus.  Where oh where to begin with this buffoonery?  This website wielding heffa admits that she was flirting with another woman’s man while on vacation.  Oh I know most that read the blog missed that!!!! From the beginning she saturated her blog with racist overtones.  Was it necessary to comment about the man’s dancing?  Which means that his rhythm would have been better if he would have chosen you over his wife that was looking on as you bumped and grind with him. 

   Boo boo, please STOP! But you didn’t.  You decided to go further and act as if your friend was a whore in comparison to a white woman that was at home watching kids while you all were on vacation TOGETHER.  Now how is the black woman a whore?  She has not been demoted to the status of help.  She is out at sea with you enjoying his money and affection.  Is it her complexion that makes you contend that she is the whore? His Sally Hemming to his Thomas Jefferson although she is NOT hidden? Are you jealous, because of the fact that a friend was financed by a fare skinned love interest?

     I find it morally repulsive that someone will leave a friend to find out that their most intimate details have been placed on a plate of public consumption via the internet.  What type of person has such a low amount of self-esteem that they uncover sensationalized details of a “friend’s life”?

     Moreover, I walked away from the blog feeling as if the writer was jealous.  I am on the outside looking in, and it seems expressly clear that someone is in a relationship with either themselves or a man that is not quite established.  Therefore, the fact that a gorgeous black woman that was sent on a cruise by her pigment challenged lover hit a nerve.  Additionally, the friend became the target AFTER a married man that was flirted with did not take a dance further than what it was. 

   This so called blogger needs to understand that a dance is a dance and just because a person is black and falls in love with a white person does NOT make them a whore.  Also, just because a man is NOT willing to cheat with you, it does NOT make his woman less than a treasure.  Not every woman is insecure.  Because you are, you do not speak for the rest of us.  Moreover, the fact that you threw your friend under the bus because you did not get vacation nukey, shows precisely what you are lacking in life. 

   Or did I miss something? I highly doubt that.  Just call me Kermit as I get my tea…

Love Avoiders and their Enablers

     There are millions of things written about people ignoring red flags when in love, but no one addresses the faux flags that are birthed by those who want to avoid love as if it were death.  Yes....you read that correctly.  To day we are going to explore those that have fallen in love, but don't want it; or just can't handle it.  The man that will swear that his devoted wife is cheating, yet each time he sneaks home early...checks her phone or the phone bill...stalks her social media pages finds NOTHING, but still makes her life miserable with accusations.  The woman that believes her man has a side chick, but he is so far up her tooty he can barely breathe.
     Both cases are examples of people that will allow fact and evidence to be ignored so that their desires can be justified.  They can walk away from envy provoking love fear and clear in conscience....or so they believe.  The will pay no attention to the devotion and love that has been bestowed upon them; that is until a cold night or a tragedy hits them.  Then there is a moment of breakdown.  But they still will NOT admit that love was kind to them or that they know desire and need it.
     When a love avoider suffers their breakdown, it becomes a stertorous vortex for the person that once loved them dearly and completely.  Because their love is no longer present due to the antics and games of the avoider, the former flame is blamed.  Are you surprised? An avoider is not one that will be honest.  They will lie and game and more to shuck and dive love's tackle.  At what point do you think that they will admit that their anger and heartbreak are their own fault? I will wait while you figure this out.......
     What makes the situation even worse is that love avoiders tend to have friends that will second their craziness.  This mixed with people that have been waiting in the wings to swoop them away from their love will further make them believe that their actions and antics are OK.  Unfortunately, as all these instigators and enablers gain maturity and begin to settle down....the love avoider will end up either alone or settling for another avoider.  This way you don't die singularly but you will die alone.
      We all know at leas one person that is a love avoider.  That friend, family member or ex that always has an excuse or a flat out  lie about why someone isn't right for them.  That person that during stressful situations in life will wage war on an ex or the person they are currently dating.  The question of the hour is...what do you do about it? Do you allow an innocent to be ripped apart because your buddy is afraid to be loved or admited that htey want love? Do you sit by and agree with their crazy? Or maybe you give approval via silence.
    Just keep in mind, an avoider could wreck your heart or that of your son or daughter.  Karma has a sneaky way of paying us back by paying it forward a generation or two.

The Face of Suicide

  Following the suicide of Robin Williams, may have taken to social media outlets sharing their shock and a collaborative, "he didn't look suicidal".  So I beg to ask you.......what does suicidal look like? We assume that the person channeling Eyor daily is the one that we must place on suicide watch.......but NO.  We do NOT truly know what is behind the smile at the coffee shop, the bubbly profile or uplifting posts, because we no longer go further than the surface.  We have obtained multiple tools in order to remain connected or regain connections with people.......YET we are no longer [truly] connected.

     Think about it.  How many times have you been TOO BUSY to listen to a friend or family member that has called you in distress?  How many times have you been more willing to sit around and lend a gossiping ear rather than a helping hand?  Do you know more about reality stars than your family?

     Yet when someone you know has decided that they can no longer fight their demons......you weep, you speak of great they were.  It is AFTER they are no longer, that the masses chime out, "they could have come to me", "I had no idea they were going through anything".  But there are no tears or thoughts of guilt.  The thought NEVER crosses one's mind that they offered no help… they simply added to another's issues.

      The news is becoming bombarded with tales of people, from young children to adults, taking their own lives.  Whether their depression is caused by an additional mental illness or bullying…..it’s becoming too common of an occurrence.  Bullying is nothing new, but the environment that is now permitting it to flourish and our lack of teaching children to deal with it is.

     Once again, we want to offer help, advice and compassion after the life light is no longer burning.  This helps NO ONE.  It simply perpetuates the feeling that a person is not worth anything until they are dead.  That they will not receive love and acceptance until they are a memory. 

    

  There is NO look of suicide.  There is NO WAY to look at someone and know the pain that is held beneath the surface.  You can hear someone’s pain when you LISTEN.  You can feel their pain when you CARE.  You cannot expect people to have the time to run to your aid while you are shutting them out.  Popularity does NOT take away a person’s pain.  It is very easy to sit in a room full of people that know of you and feel completely ALONE. 

     Money does NOT heal a person.  Even those with financial security have demons that convince them that they are not worthy.

     Understand that all of us need one another to survive.  You were not born to yourself…..you will never live to yourself…..you will not die to yourself.  No matter how much you try to convince yourself that (unless a twin, etc.) you are born alone….you are wrong.  You need at least your mother to be present.  No matter how much you try to believe that people can exist as an island…you are wrong.  You rely on thousands of people each day…whether you see them or even know their names.  Keep trying to convince yourself that you will die alone….WRONG.  You will be surrounded by many people.  You will need them to care for your remains, etc. 

    Therefore why shun another and increase their pain until it drives them into the grave?  Instead of looking for the face of suicide, realize that we are one unit.  All of our faces……the face of innocence….the face of age……all plausible faces of suicide.

#CrimingWhileWhite

    

Although it has been known for decades, a new trending topic on social media has people FINALLY saying aloud that the scales of justice are far from balanced.  From celebrities to the everyday man, tales of crimes that resulted in little-to-no consequences are being told.

     As I believe this is a GREAT thing and I hope that this purging leads to change; there are those that are placing a negative spin on the social media movement.  Why some have chosen to take the admissions (and virtually show of solidarity regarding the fact that division and hiding in the shadows helps NO ONE) as boasting.  Yes….there are people that think that those providing the dialogue that is long overdue are simply rubbing it in the face of black people.

     UGH!!!!!! Is there anything that we can NOT turn into a race war? Now, more than ever, we need to unite and use the information that is at our fingertips to invoke CHANGE.  Stop picking fights with those trying to join the war by your side and just work COLLABORATIVELY for the change that we need to SURVIVE!

     We are beyond the crucial brink that leads to genocide.  Look at this movement as evidence! The evidence that you have been waiting for to win your case.  For decades many have been called crazy or prone to exaggerate when they would point out the difference in treatment that they receive by officers of the law.  TODAY, you have been redeemed.  No longer are people willing to keep silent the dirty little secrets that permit the injustice to continue.

     No longer are we forced to battle ALONE.  No longer is ANYONE willing to turn a blind eye.  “White privilege” is being killed.  Do not stop the process by being so sensitive that you miss the armor and ammunition being delivered to your feet.  If you are quick to screenshot an argument or indecent conversation in order to expose and embarrass someone on social media…..use the confessions from the #CrimingWhileWhite movement just the same. 

      Embrace what is currently happening.  Embrace the fact that what was once underground is now above ground moving full steam ahead.  Rather than people just sitting around complaining and demanding change in their recliners…….they are united and fighting for change.  No more are people hiding how they feel.  It is NOT a secret that black, white, Asian and Indian are ENRAGED by the injustice that has molded this nation.  NO ONE is just keeping their disgust contained to their inner circle and waiting on another to demand reform.  People are taking to social media, the streets, politicians, and more.

     My question is…..Proponents of #CrimingWhileWhite, what are you doing to stop the unbalance? Complaining helps no one.  So what are you doing?

Self-Proclaimed History Editors

 

I have ZERO clue when it became a trend for people to take up the mythical career of re-writing the history of OTHERS.  Yes I said OTHERS.  I have noticed that those that generally go to great lengths to keep up their virtual reality lives have taken a sabbatical from that in order to focus on birthing faux lives for those that they do not like.  Think I am reaching on this one? Let's dissect this a bit.
     How often is your phone, inbox, timeline bombarded with tales of a person that you had no idea your friend or family member even knew.  Before their presentation of this person's history (that you rarely to never attempt to confirm or deny, and more often than not take as the gospel) you had NEVER heard their name uttered. NEVER heard of the informant speaking to them.  NEVER been told of a visit to this phantom being's home. And how often has you friend told you with conviction details that (by all accounts) only a person close to the gossip-pee would know?
   
     

Beginning to see that this is becoming an annoying and potentially life damaging epidemic?  Thought you might.  You may be wondering why I say that it is potentially life damaging? Because in the day and age that we live in were information is shared and believed faster than the speed of light, the negative and [generally] false re-writes made to a person's life can easily land in the wrong hands.  Land upon the most inappropriate ears.  A person's place of employment.  Child services. The police.  Entities that [traditionally] take action first and MAY ask questions later......MAYBE.
 

      Therefore, that gossip that is so freely heard, unquestioned and passed along as if it were a

teacher's copy of a final exam, can ruin a person.....YET NO ONE THINKS ABOUT THAT.  Until they become the target of a fantastical re-write.  Call it gossip.....call it bullying....call it flat out lies....call it hating.  Doesn't matter the label that you give it when it can be stopped IMMEDIATELY.
   How you may ask? Quite simply.  Ask questions.......hold the editor-in-chief accountable.  If you are not afraid to hear someone being torn down, do not be afraid to ask:

• "How do you know?"
• "You've been to their home?"
• "You speak to them on a regular basis?"
• "This matters, why?
• "You are paying what bills of their's?"

     From there.........wait for it.....this is some radical ish right here......I mean groundbreaking prevention technique to the max.........STFU!!!!!!! If you do NOT like drama or YOUR name drug through ,mud, poop, trash and sewers or your business (real or fictitious) discussed as it were a book club topic......DON'T DO IT TO ANOTHER.  ESPECIALLY when you KNOW the person whispering in your ear is just working full time at a job that comes with NO DIVIDENDS.

     Also, keep in mind......IF THEY WILL DO IT WITH YOU, THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU.  There is a motive behind re-writes.....no one desires to make someone look like decayed leftovers for no reason.  There is an inherent need for them to feel and "look" better than their target.  Rather to justify something that they have done that was well below board, gain the attention of a desired [or former] mate, a desired position, popularity or many other idiotic reasons; there is cause for the effect.  

      By the way, I find the MOST asinine component of all of this......the LISTENER and CARRIER.  You know, the person that is always saying "talk to me about me"....."I can't stand a gossip"..."don't run your mouth about me"...."you don't know my journey". Yet will catch and toss unfounded re-writes quicker than Kim Kardashian has publicity stunts.  Stop believing that you are the ONLY person that deserves to be respected.  That you are the ONLY person that has a journey that deserves to be told by you and you alone.  

     Karma has one job....reciprocity.  Be careful what you place along in life, it may prove a vaccine for another, but deadly for you.