Friday, April 5, 2013

Taz Honors the Bullish*tters & more



   I feel that it is time to roll out the Taz Honors for the bullshit that people spew daily.  I will be honoring the top 10 in the category of bullshit.  You should enjoy this installment…if you don’t, it’s because you are being honored…. Those offended should take the badge of honor with in the same stride as you do the dumb shit you claim daily…BUT it’s your prerogative.
1.       Talking shit and LYING to a person that knows ALL YOUR BUSINESS
a.       What point are you proving by lying to someone you have already disclosed all your secrets to? They already know your ass is BROKE! Telling them you got money and you can NOT keep an apartment………just QUIT!!!!
2.       Skinny AND Fat bitches calling themselves thick
a.       You can NOT be lacking in neck and call yourself thick
b.      You can NOT look like Olive Oil and call yourself thick
c.       And how in the hell are you mofos arguing and shitting on each other for being fat and skinny if you ALL believe your asses are thick?  Coco is thick…half you heffas need sandwiches and the other half need you mouths wired the fuck shut!
3.       Guys stealing penis pics from sex groups claiming them as their own
a.       ONLY to be outdone by the guys arguing about it in a sex group
b.      If you are in the group to get laid and your pipe is a mini….news flash, the heffa you woo to your house is going to know as soon as you drop your pants!!!!! No need to dick jack!
4.       Taking pics in church on Sunday, posting them on Monday claiming to be at work
a.       Negro unless your job is Pastor of a mega church…there are NO crosses in your office.  There is NO communion pool next to the break room.  You are fooling NO ONE.
5.       Ugly girls taking pics with their cute friends posting it as their profile pic to trick mofos into thinking its them
a.       Eventually one of your more attractive friends will tag you in a pic and your cover is blown.  That or the guy you catfish will smack the shit of you for promising Janet Jackson and delivering Freddie Jackson.
6.       Taking pics at car lots, and posting them with the caption “out with my new ride”
a.       Last night you were just posting pics from the bus and complaining about how long it took for the bus to come.  And unless you work and hang out at lots….all the other cars perfectly aligned behind you is a dead giveaway dumb ninja.
7.       Girls blasting dudes on Facebook for being deadbeats while REFUSING to take a paternity test
a.       Chick till paternity is established…he is just some dude that your dumbass let go RAW
8.       Trying to intimidate a girl away from her dude so that you can have him although he has proven to NOT want you
a.       You contacting this girl acting like you and her man are plotting to eliminate her…and you are too dumb to listen when she said she heard the calls and knows he doesn’t respond to you.  But you keep at it believing that breaking up a man’s home is the key to his heart. 
9.       Boasting about fucking a dude on his page…..but that’s ALL you did, you were never his girl or even a date
a.       If only one day you would realize that you are intimidating NO ONE….just making yourself look like a slut.  You got banged out and he isn’t chasing you or trying to get a repeat.  Oh he is? Then why are you peacocking his page?
10.   When your welfare card is loaded you withdraw the money, take a pic and act like it is your weekly check
a.       You ain’t got no damn job Tommy!


   Thank you to all the honorees for their daily efforts to keep bull shit alive and well.  We appreciate you making the rest of us feel better about the GOOD decisions that we make.  We applaud the fact that you have no problem being a bumbling fucking idiot every day of the year.  Keep up the good work!!!!! The rest of us that are evolving and moving up with the Jefferson’s blowing kisses your way….it’s because of you that the suburbs will NEVER be crowded but the ghettos will be.

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