Black Hypocra-tics

   *****This is a commentary and is NOT a reflection of ALL black people.*******

     Being a proud black woman, I must UNFORTUNATELY point out some inconsistencies and ask some questions to my fellow sun kissed nation dwellers.  EVERYDAY we receive word that members of "the community" are battered, slaughtered, raped, disrespected, etc by the hands that match their own.....YET there is NO uproar! WHY? Recently, I read a social media post by a young man that claims that the reason why black people do not get into an uproar about black-on-black crime is because the assailants will be (and have been historically) prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.       Well, I would jump on that bandwagon if EVERY assailant was apprehended and if the community at large RAISED their youth in a manner that would break this genocidal cycle......BUT that doesn't happen.         More often than NOT, people are afraid to SNITCH.  (It's not socially acceptable.  It's only okay to "tell" if a white man did it).  Couple that will the consummate "Free my ni**a" mentality, posts,      t shirts and sentiment that drench the community..........how does the previously mentioned man's theory hold up? NOT AT ALL.  Not even slightly.....it just sounds good on paper in the mist of a moment in time where comprehending focus is elsewhere.
     Truth is.....post Civil Rights Movement, we have become a sad, sad community.  If its not making headlines or we can't blame the "white man" we want no parts of it.  It's NOT OUR business.  How would you have felt if our historical leaders felt that way? Where would you be if they turned a blind eye or became mute until it was a white-on-black crime?
 

We have become known as a people that do NOT think.....that jump on bandwagons.......that do not use comprehension......that are quick to react VIOLENTLY.  We will allow the media to play us as if we were Santa worshiping toddlers.  We do NOT require all the facts.....we merely need to see or hear about a light face being involved and we scream from mountain tops, "RACISM".  We NEGLECT the fact that we have overwhelmingly conditioned our youth to have a disdain for "the white man" and for "authority".  We ignore the growing popularity of how we view it cute and oh so adorable for our children to curse, be defiant, and know more about rap songs, reality TV and dance moves than what is contained in a book or even just the basics of respect.
     

Recently a group of black men created a video that went viral calling us all out of our "views".  Telling us that we make EVERYTHING a black and white issue.  Pointing out that we will even change a person's ethnicity if they are not Harriet Tubman black to prove our unsubstantiated theories and claims.  And you know what? MILLIONS shared the video and commented in agreement.
       But why has there been no change? Because a week later a black man was shot and killed by a police officer in Missouri.   So now thinking is NO LONGER AN OPTION.  Opinions and rash judgments are the dishes indulged upon.  Think I'm reaching....or better yet (to fit the deflective theories of the community).....think I'm a sell-out......pay close attention to what's next.  When the news broke of the shooting of Mike Brown, NO ONE outside of the eye-witnesses and first responders knew the ethnicity of the police officer......BUT, the web became a buzz that the shooting was racially fueled.  NO ONE was asking questions.....NO ONE.  As accounts surrounding the shooting became public.......NO ONE paid attention to OBVIOUS discrepancies if they did NOT originate from the mouths of the police.  EACH time a black person dies at the actual or perceived hands of a white person (because if its another minority, we still call then white for whatever God forsaken reason) we seem to FORGET the things that we complain about EVERY FREAKING DAY.
   (And NO I am not claiming the following happened in MiMissouri, but let's explore).  Daily, there are social media posts from black people complaining about our youth constantly challenging authority, disrespecting their elders (including parents), not valuing education, choosing sex/drugs/alcohol over following the letter of the law or escaping the pitfalls of the ghetto.  BUT all of that is thrown out of the window if a black person (ESPECIALLY if under 30) is  injured or killed by the hands of someone outside of the community.  DID IT OCCUR TO ANYONE that if we become HONEST with ourselves and each other regarding BEHAVIOR....... WE would be able to curb quite a bit of this senseless violence.  Think about.  There are corrupt people in EVERY profession.  Why focus on the police? And why focus on teaching our children the most deadly and freedom removing ways to deal with officers? Teach your children what you were taught.......LET YOUR PARENTS FIGHT THE BATTLES AND TEACH YOU THE PROPER WAY!!!!! It's better to sit in jail for a bit as our Civil Rights Leaders did and SUE for damages than it is to end up in a casket or urn and your family has to sue for burial expenses.
     And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me how we went from the gurus of protests to devolving into rioting, looting maniacs?! Yes, I said maniacs!!!! Because who in the world are you helping by DESTROYING your own neighborhoods? What have those business owners and YOUR neighbors done to LOSE their livelihoods?  What are you teaching the youth that we can still save?  Oh yea that's right, it's more socially acceptable to be ratchet, half-naked, barely educated and have a favorite 'Love and Hip Hop' character by the age of ten than it is to be successful at something that is not accompanied by a beat and a sexually charged dance.

     We make fun of the "nerd" the "band geek" and praise the sports star and encourage our girls to chase a man with a check and pray that she's fertile.  We complain about deadbeat fathers, yet give men hell for trying to be in their children's lives although they are no longer in (slight) like with the mothers.  We as a people are a ball of contradictions, excuses and unrelenting, unsubstantiated conjecture.  We get mad when called out on our hypocrisies.  If its a white person, they are dubbed racist for pointing out the purely obvious.......and if its a black person, they are self-hating.  NEITHER is true.  Face it or shut up.  Don't like it.....change it.
    How? For ONCE.  Pay attention to the facts of a case rather than the race(s) of the case.  Ask questions.  Be UPSET by EVERY death...... ESPECIALLY those by the hands that match your own.  CEASE with the excuses.  Encourage your children to be BUSINESS OWNERS instead of "corner hustlers".  Teach your children that being INFAMOUS or known for showing tail or being known for having multiple women is NOT a badge of honor.  And Lord Jesus STOP twerking every chance you get ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF YOUR DANG BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!
    It's time to be mad.....BUT no longer at "the white man"........be pissed at the man in the mirror!!!! Because that is the person that is screwing you over.  That is who is killing your children, your mothers, your fathers, your friends, your neighborhoods, your legacy!!!!!!!!!!!

Senseless Begets Senseless

  By now EVERYONE is aware of the tragic shooting of 18 year old Mike Brown this past weekend.  We can ALL agree that this could of been avoided......where the division lies is HOW it could have been avoided and people's actions since his death.  From all accounts, it can safely be said that Brown was shot while fleeing police AND that there was a shot fired from WITHIN a patrol car.  Logic and rationale would dictate that a FORMAL investigation be had so that precisely what happened can be unearthed......BUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT let's face it, we live in America.  NO ONE wants an investigation.......EVERYONE wants their brand of justice carried out.
     Now let's move on to what will guarantee me hate mail.  SOMEONE PLEASE tell me why he was in the BACK OF THE PATROL CAR TO BEGIN WITH? Why did he run? What are we as a SOCIETY (not simply black folks) teaching our children about the police?  Playing devil's advocate, let's assume that he was being falsely detained by an officer.  OK, that's plausible.......BUT how did he get out of the back of the car? Why was a shot fired within the car? Why did he run? By all accounts Brown was a young man with a bright future.  The world was in the palm of his proverbial hands......why was he fleeing police? Had his mind been filled with the fear that black men are the usual suspect by law enforcement? Was he a typical 2014 teen that felt he was invincible?  Or was "they shoot first ask questions later" replaying in his mind and fight or flight kicked in?
    Before you take out your pitch forks and come looking for me to burn me at the stake......I AM NOT justifying his death in the least...... I just have questions.  We ALL should have questions!!!!!!! Not to mention WE should NOT be condoning looting and violence in his memory.  It was VIOLENCE that took Brown from his parents, family and friends.......how is that a proper way to point out how senseless it was? Keep in mind that what you do NOW.......IS NOW THE FOCUS!!!!!! Not so much how or why a young man is no longer going home to his mother.  The headlines are now ALL about St. Louis and the comments are less than flattering currently about its residents.
     Tell me again how this helps?  What ever you tear up....steal....deface.....you will replace with your freedom....your taxes.....your lack of justice. Take up his cause, by all means!!!!! But do it in a way that is productive!!!!!!!!!! Launch your OWN investigation.  Compile statements from those that were there.  Collect the videos that were taken.  Hold [controlled] protests encouraging those that you have elected to take a look at the state of affairs in your city? Believe that they are corrupt? Get yourself in their position.
    Oh, while you are at it......don't just be enraged by Brown's death......BE ENRAGED BY ALL OF THE DEATHS RATHER BY POLICE, PARENTS, OR FELLOW TEENS!!!!!! You are only as valuable to society as you show society that you are.

That ONLY Sounds Good on Paper

     I have sat back for a while and taken notes of a truly asinine trend that is making its rounds.  What am I referring to?  I am referring to people (women in particular) buying into and adhering to the mindset that if they are interested in a man, they should NOT tell him and sit in the friend zone under the fairytale that eventually….one day….some way, somehow he will know that they want him as their man.  OH WAIT…….did I mention that once he gets a man, these silent biddies believe that once he is taken, that is the time to begin flirting, etc.?! Have you ever?!

     Where to begin breaking down this insanity? Oh where oh where?!  HMMMMMMMM………let’s begin with the fact that the AVERAGE human being is NOT a mind reader.  Generally, a person takes what you say at face value and if you DO NOT say anything or act interested romantically (ESPECIALLY in the litigation heavy atmosphere we live in) PEOPLE DON’T LOOK AT YOU ROMANTICALLY.  (If they do, it can be categorized as obsession….stalking…sexual harassment).  Sitting back silently hoping and praying that your crush will see your PLATONIC relationship as more than that, is about as sane as believing that the Easter Bunny is really going to bring your adult butt a basket on Easter.  It just doesn’t work that way dearie bees.  If you want him to see you as mate material………be mate material and make it KNOWN.  Flirt….or better yet……TELLL HIM!!!! You are friends right?  Why sit around listening to stories about the women coming and going in his life….fanaticizing about what it would be like to be wined and dined by him………picturing him cuddling with you at night.  What’s the worse than can happen, huh? Oh yea……he might not be that into you.  SO WHAT?! How many people in your life have you not been that into?  At least then you can put things in perspective.  Like, are you his friend because you want to be or because you just want the pot of gold (or fool’s gold) at the end of his rainbow? 

      Now let’s move on to becoming DISRESPECTFUL once you unbeknownst crush enters a relationship.  Oh yes I said BECOMING DISRESPECTFUL.  Not only is your flirting and trying to prove to his mate that you’ve known him longer (and some of you try to imply that you know him better) disrespectful to his mate…..BBBBBBBBUUUUUUUTTTTTTT, here is what you overlook…..IT’S DISRESPECTFUL TO THE MAN YOU LIKE AND CALL YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!  Would you keep a “friend” around that was disrespectful to you?  Hell, most of you would cut a FAMILY member off to being disrespectful to your mate……but I digress.  Piggy backing off the disrespect clause of this topic……would you CHOOSE a MATE that was DISRESPECTFUL?! NO? Really? So What makes you think that he would leave a woman that he is OBVIOUSLY attracted to, to a woman that has sat back, (in his eyes now) played games for a period of time, and is now disrespecting his relationship?

  Because if he DOES some way, somehow choose you (rather for a night or long term) he is sending you a CLEAR MESSAGE……he doesn’t respect YOU or ANY WOMAN.  MEN do NOT allow their women or relationships to be disrespected or belittled……PERIOD.  SO where does that leave you?  With a wet tale and a broken heart?      Is that what you have laid in wait for? No, I don’t think so. 

   Let me back track a moment.  I brought up that this man that you are pining away for may view your current behavior as a sign that your previous behavior was “game playing”.  Think about it…..how would feel if a man pretended to be your friend…..sat back gathering “inside information” on you?  PRETENDING to have genuine, above board friendly feelings for you?  Wouldn’t you wonder if all the (at the time) seemingly good relationship advice that you retrieve from “behind enemy lines” was TAINTED.  Wouldn’t you begin to wonder if some of your failed pairings were because your “friend” set you up for failure?  What makes you think that he wouldn’t?  Even if he doesn’t come to this train of thought on his own……..his WOMAN will MOST CERTAINTLY OPEN HIS EYES TO YOUR “PLAN”. 

     SOOOOOOOOO what have we learned?  Just like your mother and grandmother used to tell you, a closed mouth DOES NOT GET FED nor does it get the prince and the end of the fairytale!  Its 2014 ladies!!!! You are always screaming that you are just as capable as a man….that you are EQUAL….ACT LIKE it!!!! Ask him out, make the first move or just make a move!!!! If you are bold enough to proclaim that you are #Team Single (which we will discuss in the VERY near future) while SIMULTNEOUSLY posting to any social media that will allow you that you are sooooo “live” and such a GREAT catch….you can muster up the courage to tell a mere mortal man (that every Father’s Day and Mother’s Day you break down as if they are the demons waking the earth and soooooo far beneath you). 

     If you can bring home the bacon…..fry it up in the pan……run the office…..take charge of your own orgasm…….(believe that you can) raise men……why can’t you say three little words…..”I LIKE YOU”.    Men have enough guess work to do when it comes to us.  Figuring out what we really mean when we make certain comments.  Understanding that many of us will hang around women that we truly can NOT stand.  Our topsy turvy relationships with our mothers and daughters.  Why we ask questions that we truly don’t want them to answer.  Why many of us do things we really want to do, yet lead into the act with the infamous statements, “I don’t normally do this” and “I’ve never done this before”. 

   If over that centuries of men and women sharing this planet they have yet to figure out that telling you that your co-worker is hot is wrong, what makes you think that you playing the tom-boy platonic companion who says that they are quite content being single and their friend that his happy for each relationship they enter will translate in their brain to “MAKE ME YOURS AND I WILL BE YOUR EVERY FANTASY”?! 

   And here is the true JEWEL in this WHOLE thing ladies…….MEN APPRECIATE AND LIKE DIRECTNESS! THE TAKE WHAT WE SAY FOR FACE VALUE.  IF YOU TELL THEM YOU ARE OKAY WITH BEING SINGLE AND JUST A FRIEND…..GUESS WHAT? THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL BE TO HIM!!!!!!  Say what you mean and mean what you say…..you know the exact same thing you want someone to do for you!!!!!!!

Loud Music Murder...........

     Florida is YET AGAIN the host for a murder trial involving a black teen and a middle aged white man.  This time, the players in the game are Micheal Dunn, a 47 year old software developer, and Jordan Davis, who was a 17 year old student with military based aspirations at the time of his 2012 murder.  Many comparisons have been made between this and the Martin/Zimmerman trial........but the media and civic attention is by no means CLOSE.
     I digress.....let us journey back in time to the night that intertwined these lives for eternity.  It was a November night at a gas station when Dunn's girlfriend went inside the station to make a purchase.  Next to Dunn's car was a Dodge Durango with 4 teens inside.  They teens were playing loud rap music, that according to Dunn rattled his car tremendously.  Dunn asked the teens to turn their music down and when they refused....he pulled a 9mm handgun from his glove box and shot into the vehicle subsequently killing Davis.
    That sounds pretty bad as is correct? Oh but WAIT.  Dunn began making racially based comments as he pulled into his parking space at the gas station and BEGAN the tense argument with the MINORS in the vehicle.  After shooting up the SUV, Dunn left the scene WITHOUT calling the authorities and checked into a local hotel.  While at the hotel, Dunn enjoyed an evening of pizza and romance.  The NEXT morning when he was apprehended by police Dunn claimed that he was the VICTIM and that he acted out of SELF-DEFENSE.  According to Dunn, he felt threatened when [allegedly] Davis yelled a threat from an open window.
      Now to me this is an OPEN SHUT CASE.....BBBBBUUUUUUTTTTTT this is Florida.  So one NEVER truly knows how this will turn out.  MY TRUE issue is all of the people that cried out during the Martin/Zimmerman trial claiming that they would stand up and shout out for any CHILD shot down unnecessarily.  Where are they now?
    Where is Hollywood? Where are the FaceBook campaigns? Where is the call for local [peaceful] demonstrations and blacked out profile pictures?   What happened to the resurrected black empowerment movement?   What happened to the outraged citizens that were willing to come to arms in defense of any black child that was MURDERED?! I stand by my sentiment of a few months ago.......people are just like cats following a laser pointer......they follow the hottest racism based trend to the fullest.  It's not about the actual person, its about who has the greatest media coverage and how egregious the prejudice is.  This case is fairly CLEAR CUT.  Dunn had NO regard for the life of any one who's skin was kissed by the sun.  He picked a fight with a CHILD and opened fire wild west style and went to celebrate his kill with his girlfriend!
    Davis was a student that was HIGHLY praised by his teachers and peers.  He wanted to go into a career in the military.  This was a young man that wanted to make a difference in the world. He NO LONGER HAS THAT CHANCE due to an overzealous BIGOT.
     How to you just open fire on someone simply because of a disagreement over VOLUME?  How do you LEAVE the scene and NOT call the police if you feel threatened and in the RIGHT?! Oh yea......did I forget to mention that the Dunn family has ALREADY settled a civil case launched against them via the Davis family?

So You Don't Like Black History Month, HUH?

     This morning I read an article regarding a private school in California that thought it was a good idea to serve fried chicken, cornbread and watermelon in recognition of Black History Month.  BUT.......that isn't what truly ruffled my feathers.  What crawled under my skin and laid eggs were the NUMEROUS ignorance fueled comments that were made.  I was utterly astonished at how many people believe that black history is NO more than tales of slavery and the bitterness of its descendants.  There were people who honestly could not wrap there heads around why there is a need for the month or the importance that it holds for ALL......not just black people!!!!!!!
      OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH....but my shock and aw regarding how little we as a country has progressed continued to be fueled and 100's more comments came in on the article and the tone went for ignorance to sheer stupidity.  PEOPLE OF THE USA.........NOT EVERYONE WITH A BLACK FACE IS OF AFRICAN DESCENT!!!!!!  Stop saying that in order to honor black history, one should simply "research Africa".......... NOT all of us arrived on a ship in shackles.  Black people hail from VARIOUS countries around the world and have made MAJOR contributions to WORLD HISTORY.  Unfortunately, the history of black people was excluded from books and teachings as well as altered to suit others who's egos needed the credit.
     You can disagree with a month being set aside so that people can be encouraged to exploring and exposed to portions of history that are often glossed over and/or sensationalized all you please......the one thing you can't do is ignore its impact on your life. Don't think so? Look around at things you rely on EVERY day, and ask yourself, who made this possible? Who was the first?  I can guarantee, one way or another. there is a degree or 2 separation from a black person.
      And for those that hold on to the myth that ONLY black people have history months.....jump out of your bubble post haste!!!!!!!!

• March - National Women's History Month
• May - Asian Pacific American Heritage and Older Americans Month
• June - Gay Lesbian Pride Month
• September - National Hispanic-Latino Heritage Month (9.15 - 10.15)
• October - National Disability Employment Awareness Month
• November - National American Indian Heritage Month

     Why don't they get more attention? WE AMERICANS AS A WHOLE!!!!!! We are so stuck on 'me, me,me'/'mine, mine, mine' that we won't allow ourselves to see outside our own boxes.  We would rather argue about why someone else is special instead of asking why we haven't made ourselves special.

What's Your History?

     Many have said that, "Before you can know where you are going, you must know where you have been".  For many, we believe that we know.......but do we really?   February has been Black History Month (officially) since 1976 and since then, many that it was created for believe that the only history that is pertinent to them is what has been taught or captured in POPULAR books.  It is as if the intent behind its creation has driven its core demographic in reverse.  Rather than explore and educate themselves on the rich history of their immediate forefathers, they gravitate towards iconic figures, events that birthed martyrs as well as sensationalized conspiracy theories.  
      I realize that there are some that don't believe that anything further is needed, since in their minds, only a few people made a dent in history.  BUT....there is a wealth of contributions that people of color have made to the world (NOT just the continental United States).  NOT to mention your own PERSONAL black history information.  Have you taken the time to discover the vast historic quests and tales your elders have to offer up? Instead of reading YET another book about MLK or Malcolm X, why not just open up your ears and hear grandma or granddad tell you what is was like when their school desegregated.  Hear how their neighborhoods and families reacted during certain events.
     What does it serve you t know so much about one or two people in black history and know nothing of the history it took to ensure your existence?  Why rely on the bountiful words of another to tell you what happened and why.....we are not that far removed that eye-witnesses are not in our reach.  It is time that we once and for all embody Black History Month by finding out our own history FIRST.   The SECONDARY priority should be challenging one another to uncover a "lesser known" historical figure or event.  
       BEFORE OUR WALKING, TALKING, BREATHING HISTORIANS are no more than pictures and fond memories, we need to take it upon ourselves to learn what they already know so that we may keep our own history ALIVE and unedited.  Honor those that came before by passing on the truth and NOT remaining stuck in an endless loop of what is already known.  Let your own future generations gain pride by knowing what roads were traveled before them and what roads still need to be uncovered.

GIVING THANKS

       Tis the season that for a moment we watch people PRETEND to NOT be selfish and completely self-evolved.  They decided to FINALLY spend time with their respective families for a few hours out of the year.  Proclaiming thanks for bobbles that they acquired after countless hours of laboring.  Each one missing the value of what they have surrounding them.

       My father has always told me that he was a millionaire, not because of what is in the bank, but because of the people surrounding him that love him.  He taught me to take stock in those that love you in spite of what you have….those that have loved you since before you could wipe your own butt.  Therefore, while there are people freaking out wondering how to shuck and dive family in order to make it to a friend’s house for a holiday feast……or how to get to the hottest event during the holiday….. I will be thanking God that I have a wonderful village.  A village compiled of family and friends that love me through mistakes and triumphs. 

      By NO MEANS are any of us walking this earth perfect….BUT there are people out there that feel the need to give thanks for bobbles acquired after countless hours of laboring rather than the precious gems that have been around them throughout the year.  I have NEVER been able to fathom placing value on frienemies and material items.  None of those things are there when you suffered a loss….when heartache broke you down to your core….when your day was less than stellar.  Why avoid those that have loved you even before you knew what love was? Why plan outing around the holidays taking you away from your very first playmates?

    True we all grow older and begin familial extensions……but should this keep us from giving thanks for the guidance passed down through generations that have kept us out of prison and or the grave? Should you fail to see the immeasurable value of those that got you through hard times? Maybe that concert or that piece of tail is will one day see you value and learn your history so thoroughly……doubt it, but people believe in aliens so why can’t you believe that you mean something to people that revel in airing your dirty laundry and birthing your tears as you strive for reality TV stardom.

    WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!!!!! What you should be thankful for is very, very, very SIMPLE.  Your health……your wealth of familial love surrounding you!!!!!!!!!!!! I urge you to visit….break bread with….call a relative and let them know that you are THANKFUL FOR THEIR EXSITANCE AND LOVE.  Tomorrow is NOT promised and once they (or YOU) leave this earth, telling them on a social media profile page or as their shell lay in a casket is POINTLESS!!!!!!!! That message delivery system is for YOU….NOT THEM.  Reaching out and TRULY being thankful for sacrifices made on you behave just may SAVE A LIFE…….It just might remind someone that what they did was NOT IN VAIN.  You have the all year to go and be the bell of the ball.  Take this time to be the angel.

    This is just my two cents, take it and place it in our back pocket or leave it on the table.  Just know, a millionaire NEVER leaves ANYTHING on the table.  As for me, I will be boiling over with love and appreciation.