That ONLY Sounds Good on Paper

     I have sat back for a while and taken notes of a truly asinine trend that is making its rounds.  What am I referring to?  I am referring to people (women in particular) buying into and adhering to the mindset that if they are interested in a man, they should NOT tell him and sit in the friend zone under the fairytale that eventually….one day….some way, somehow he will know that they want him as their man.  OH WAIT…….did I mention that once he gets a man, these silent biddies believe that once he is taken, that is the time to begin flirting, etc.?! Have you ever?!

     Where to begin breaking down this insanity? Oh where oh where?!  HMMMMMMMM………let’s begin with the fact that the AVERAGE human being is NOT a mind reader.  Generally, a person takes what you say at face value and if you DO NOT say anything or act interested romantically (ESPECIALLY in the litigation heavy atmosphere we live in) PEOPLE DON’T LOOK AT YOU ROMANTICALLY.  (If they do, it can be categorized as obsession….stalking…sexual harassment).  Sitting back silently hoping and praying that your crush will see your PLATONIC relationship as more than that, is about as sane as believing that the Easter Bunny is really going to bring your adult butt a basket on Easter.  It just doesn’t work that way dearie bees.  If you want him to see you as mate material………be mate material and make it KNOWN.  Flirt….or better yet……TELLL HIM!!!! You are friends right?  Why sit around listening to stories about the women coming and going in his life….fanaticizing about what it would be like to be wined and dined by him………picturing him cuddling with you at night.  What’s the worse than can happen, huh? Oh yea……he might not be that into you.  SO WHAT?! How many people in your life have you not been that into?  At least then you can put things in perspective.  Like, are you his friend because you want to be or because you just want the pot of gold (or fool’s gold) at the end of his rainbow? 

      Now let’s move on to becoming DISRESPECTFUL once you unbeknownst crush enters a relationship.  Oh yes I said BECOMING DISRESPECTFUL.  Not only is your flirting and trying to prove to his mate that you’ve known him longer (and some of you try to imply that you know him better) disrespectful to his mate…..BBBBBBBBUUUUUUUTTTTTTT, here is what you overlook…..IT’S DISRESPECTFUL TO THE MAN YOU LIKE AND CALL YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!  Would you keep a “friend” around that was disrespectful to you?  Hell, most of you would cut a FAMILY member off to being disrespectful to your mate……but I digress.  Piggy backing off the disrespect clause of this topic……would you CHOOSE a MATE that was DISRESPECTFUL?! NO? Really? So What makes you think that he would leave a woman that he is OBVIOUSLY attracted to, to a woman that has sat back, (in his eyes now) played games for a period of time, and is now disrespecting his relationship?

  Because if he DOES some way, somehow choose you (rather for a night or long term) he is sending you a CLEAR MESSAGE……he doesn’t respect YOU or ANY WOMAN.  MEN do NOT allow their women or relationships to be disrespected or belittled……PERIOD.  SO where does that leave you?  With a wet tale and a broken heart?      Is that what you have laid in wait for? No, I don’t think so. 

   Let me back track a moment.  I brought up that this man that you are pining away for may view your current behavior as a sign that your previous behavior was “game playing”.  Think about it…..how would feel if a man pretended to be your friend…..sat back gathering “inside information” on you?  PRETENDING to have genuine, above board friendly feelings for you?  Wouldn’t you wonder if all the (at the time) seemingly good relationship advice that you retrieve from “behind enemy lines” was TAINTED.  Wouldn’t you begin to wonder if some of your failed pairings were because your “friend” set you up for failure?  What makes you think that he wouldn’t?  Even if he doesn’t come to this train of thought on his own……..his WOMAN will MOST CERTAINTLY OPEN HIS EYES TO YOUR “PLAN”. 

     SOOOOOOOOO what have we learned?  Just like your mother and grandmother used to tell you, a closed mouth DOES NOT GET FED nor does it get the prince and the end of the fairytale!  Its 2014 ladies!!!! You are always screaming that you are just as capable as a man….that you are EQUAL….ACT LIKE it!!!! Ask him out, make the first move or just make a move!!!! If you are bold enough to proclaim that you are #Team Single (which we will discuss in the VERY near future) while SIMULTNEOUSLY posting to any social media that will allow you that you are sooooo “live” and such a GREAT catch….you can muster up the courage to tell a mere mortal man (that every Father’s Day and Mother’s Day you break down as if they are the demons waking the earth and soooooo far beneath you). 

     If you can bring home the bacon…..fry it up in the pan……run the office…..take charge of your own orgasm…….(believe that you can) raise men……why can’t you say three little words…..”I LIKE YOU”.    Men have enough guess work to do when it comes to us.  Figuring out what we really mean when we make certain comments.  Understanding that many of us will hang around women that we truly can NOT stand.  Our topsy turvy relationships with our mothers and daughters.  Why we ask questions that we truly don’t want them to answer.  Why many of us do things we really want to do, yet lead into the act with the infamous statements, “I don’t normally do this” and “I’ve never done this before”. 

   If over that centuries of men and women sharing this planet they have yet to figure out that telling you that your co-worker is hot is wrong, what makes you think that you playing the tom-boy platonic companion who says that they are quite content being single and their friend that his happy for each relationship they enter will translate in their brain to “MAKE ME YOURS AND I WILL BE YOUR EVERY FANTASY”?! 

   And here is the true JEWEL in this WHOLE thing ladies…….MEN APPRECIATE AND LIKE DIRECTNESS! THE TAKE WHAT WE SAY FOR FACE VALUE.  IF YOU TELL THEM YOU ARE OKAY WITH BEING SINGLE AND JUST A FRIEND…..GUESS WHAT? THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL BE TO HIM!!!!!!  Say what you mean and mean what you say…..you know the exact same thing you want someone to do for you!!!!!!!